So all hell and broke loose at our house. Not for my daughter really but I recently broke my leg. Wow, I BROKE MY F-CKING LEG. Yes, I'm a little upset about it. So the details quickly....I'm at my 20 year high school reunion. I'm wearing a dress and looking smoking hot. I can say that about myself with out being a snob because I worked very hard on that hotness just for my reunion! :) I was on this "platform" thing and took one wrong step backwards, off, in wedges. Ankle went one way, I went another and down I go. I spent the remainder of the evening in the ER and then spent the following morning in my hotel room waiting for my husband and eldest son to pick my ass up 2 hours from home because I couldn't drive. My hotel mates had left to go float the river (an activity I now had to miss) DAMN IT!
Anyway....I'm shared this tidbit because I think I mentioned in my last post (the first one) that my daughter may be flaring up. She is. P.A.N.D.A.S. kids are difficult to parent. Now I have a broken leg? Really?!?!?!?! Ugh....
So she is acquiring a few new tics like tongue clicking and shoulder shrugs. They really aren't too noticeable though and even kind of cute. The issue has been a bit of behavior regression. So this is actually odd. She is regressing in one form and progressing in another. Her regression consists of wanting the Binky and some more fears of being alone, the dark, and few other quirks. Progression is she is using the POTTY! (insert your own form of inspirational music here, I am hearing HALLELUJAH) It just clicked. I saw her squatting between my sofa and chair and I said..."Um, are you hiding back there?". "Yes mommy" she says. "Are you pooping?" I ask. "Yes mommy" she says. I said..."Wouldn't you like to poop in the potty since daddy put the new toilet in down here?". I actually saw the light bulb turn on above her head! She responded with a thrilled yes and I hollered for my husband (since I can't walk anywhere quickly or gracefully at this point) I was actually concerned for that 1/2 second that she would freak out and want me to do it but she didn't. It was fine. Mission accomplished! An hour later, a second missile deployed and that was daddies cue to quickly run out and buy her a new dinosaur. I thought it was a bit premature but promises are promises. She has actually been 50/50 consistent too. Pee isn't going as well but I'm still happy.
So back to the P.A.N.D.A.S. issues. The Binky. This really happened overnight. she has been Binky free for about a year to a year and a half. I still have them because I have a little guy I babysit and I never got rid of them. Spares you can call it. Every time I find one, I just throw it into this dish I have in the cupboard. So this particular day, she was having a few rages and they included biting. We were standing eye to eye and talking about the recent bite to her sister and she had this sort of melt down. I have never seen her meltdown like this. It wasn't a tantrum, it wasn't a rage. It was like she was emotionally broken. It absolutely broke my heart. She was crying and saying..."I need my Binky" We tried reasoning with her and talking about the fact that she doesn't use it anymore, etc. Her response between tears was "I really need my Binky or I won't be able to stop biting". I had an Epiphany and then gave her one. This isn't behavioral, this is sensory! At that moment it was like a scene from a movie where someones has a memory of a bunch of events all at once. I recalled noticing her mouthing everything she got her hands on the last few weeks including her hands. As we were sitting there talking about it she started chewing on her toes! I asked her what she was doing and her response was "I always do this" (no she doesn't). That's when I gave it to her. I posted on one of my support groups to find out what other parents thought of this. A few said absolutely do not give it to her because I would be caving to her obsessions, a few said its sensory and to give her alternatives and a few said let her have it, she's only three. I agree. I am the mom who secretly hates seeing older kids at Target with a damn Binky and now I have one. In all honesty its been about a week and its been very sporadic and not even daily so to hell with it. When she's in therapy we can address it then.
Speaking of therapy. She qualified for an evaluation with Early Intervention for what else, sensory. Her next appointment isn't until September 8 and I cannot wait until then. sometimes I feel like I am swimming in the fucked up parent pool not knowing the least bit how to control and parent her. Now that I've broken my leg its even worse. She knows I can't get up and deal with things so she just ignores me. I refuse to bitch though because I know she's still not that bad. She doesn't torment her older sister but if I were her, i would too. My older daughter Chloe is a prima donna and is easy to torment. All Piper needs to do is pretend like she's going to do something mean to her and she screams like a bat out of hell.
The other exciting news, or at least exciting for me, is we have a dermatology appointment on Monday and an ENT appointment on Tuesday. The derm appointment is exciting because it could lead to more specialists. I'm hoping eventually to see an immunologist and/or a rheumatologist. I have been butting heads with my husband to NOT treat her eczema this past few weeks because I want her itchy and showing her rashes. He didn't agree but what good is it to go to an appt with no symptoms! The ENT is exciting because she has gargantuan tonsils and has for the past year and a half as well. My pediatrician doesn't seem concerned by that and she keeps swabbing clean for strep. I feel like she is harboring something else in there that is triggering her flares. aaaaack. What a ride this is.
So that's what is happening in our P.A.N.D.A.S. world. There sure is a lot more going on in our lives but nothing that concerns this blog. :) Have a good night and would love to hear from other P.A.N.D.A.S. families.
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